50,000 avocados blog.

Oh, man, I am in the wrong job. Somebody out there represents avocados to the world, and that person created the following press release, which was inadvertently (I assume) posted five separate times on Yahoo’s retail news wire at about noon today.

IRVINE, Calif. Dec. 6, 2004--While watching the ball drop in Times Square this New Year's Eve, imagine it filled with Hass avocados. In fact, it would take approximately 50,000 Hass avocados to fill the lighted sphere, announcing the start of another year and millions of party-goers enjoying guacamole.

“Whether on the East Coast, the West Coast or somewhere in between, New Year's offers the perfect opportunity to dip into a delicious bowl of "guac" -- the perfect party pleaser, satisfying taste buds across the nation. It is anticipated that over 34 million pounds of avocados will be consumed as America rings in the New Year.

“In honor of the New Year, the Hass Avocado Board has developed "Guac Around the Clock" recipes so party-goers can specialize their guacamole according to their time zone. Visit www.avocadocentral.com for all the "Guac Around the Clock" recipes.”

Then again, writing about nothing but avocados and guac would get a little tiresome after a while, so maybe it isn’t a dream job. Still, the image of 50,000 avos squeezed into that silly New Year’s ball is pretty memorable, and the thought of 34 million pounds of any vegetable – fruit? – staggers the imagination. Well, maybe not stagger, but makes the imagination sit up and lift its eyebrow like Mr. Spock and say, “Interesting.”

No, he usually said, “Fascinating,” though I don’t how an emotionless creature could be fascinated by anything. Fascination would seem to require an emotional attachment to one thing at the expense of others, at least for a while. But never mind, the idea of Vulcans never did hold much water anyway, except in the tight confines of Star Trek scripts.