Feng Blog.

Mid-50s F (12° C or so) today. The Tribune had an article on Sunday about La Nina, which took the blame for why it's unnaturally cold in June here around the Great Lakes. So they say. Something to do with low pressure, or low water temps, or low something-or-other in a vast region of the Pacific seldom visited by human beings. But not to worry. As soon as this cold spring is over, we have a hot and dry summer to look forward to.

Waiting for me on my desk this morning was "May is National Moving Month," a press release from Allied Van Lines. Actually, it was dated February 5, 2002, but Bonnie G., whose office is a storehouse of real estate industry ephemera, thoughtfully left it for me, since it's all but certain now that we will move in August. It's a strange document.

In the very first paragraph, it lets us know that Allied has declared May as "National Moving Month," which raises some interesting questions by itself, but it gets better on the next page: "In addition... to moving [services], Allied Van Lines also provides homeowners with decorating tips designed to ease the transition into a new home. --

"I think the lamp would look good over there, lady."

-- A signature component of contemporary interior design, the ancient design art of Feng Shui is helping homeowners design a harmonious transition..."

It is? Have interior designers lost their minds? As a Chinese cultural practice, I have no particular quarrel with Feng Shui. It seems innocuous enough in its native setting. As an import to North America, except perhaps for Chinatowns, I have the strongest urge to mock its practitioners. Why Feng Shui? Why don't we advocate living in yurts (as in Mongolia), or what about building spirit houses next to our dwellings (as in Thailand)? Practicing Feng Shui in (say) Schaumburg, Illinois, is as silly as cultivating cocoanut trees there, and as thoughtlessly fashionable as getting a tattoo on your backside.

And what is Feng Shui doing in this press release, anyway? It seems that Allied "has worked with Julie L. [a Feng Shui consultant] to develop the 'Moving with Harmony -- The Feng Shui Way' brochure, providing decorating and design tips for the home." Attagirl, Julie. Hope you can keep a straight face.