Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Yuck blog.

My brother Jay, an attorney, e-mailed me about yesterday’s reference to the “Head Dude” at an Hawaiian retailer, noting that very likely he’s legally the “president” of the company, regardless of what’s on his press releases. Still, I have wonder about the other unofficial titles in that company. Maybe they have a head moolah guy (CFO) and a chief talent scout (VP of HR) and a consulting Parrothead.

Now threre’s a micro-subculture I’ve never understood.

Today, I listened to an earnings conference call – listening to such things is becoming an increasingly important part of my job – featuring Build-A-Bear, the high-priced teddy bear shop that so far Lilly hasn’t heard of, and I’ve been able to avoid. The woman who runs that particular company is called the chairman and chief executive bear. Really, that’s what the CIO called her during the conference, and there was a chief financial bear too, I think.

My old friend Lynn, who’s married to my old friend Ed, sent me the following short article from the Wall Street Journal today. If I didn’t think the WSJ had decent fact-checking, I'd think it was a hoax:

“Many Americans love Thanksgiving dinner, but not everybody loves all the tiresome chewing involved. Thanks to Jones Sodas of Seattle, Americans can now drink their Thanksgiving Dinner without having to be an astronaut or use a blender. Last year, Jones Sodas briefly graced the world with Turkey and Gravy Soda, which actually tasted like turkey and gravy, and it was such a hit that the company is producing it again for a limited time this year, along with four new companion flavors: Green Bean Casserole, Mashed Potato (redolent of butter), Cranberry and, for dessert, Fruitcake.

“Sounds delicious, yes, but they're also calorie-free, vegan and kosher. Beginning Thursday, about 15,000 packs of five 12-ounce bottles, each including one straw and one toothpick to serve as "utensils," will go on sale at selected Target stores for between $14.95 and $16.95, with proceeds going to Toys for Tots. Aside from the charity angle, Jones isn't exactly aggressively marketing the sodas. In fact, Jones's CEO recently poured himself a drink of Mashed Potato and yelled, in front of an Associated Press reporter, ‘Oh, man, I can't drink that!’ ”

Here, here. I replied (to Lynn, not the WSJ): “What's next, Crunchy Frog Soda? I'll have to forward this to my nephew Sam, who introduced me to Jones Soda some years ago. It isn't bad, and I'd drink it more often, but it costs too much for a soda. And I'm in the wrong demographic to be impressed by unorthodox bottle labels.”


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